Totally Personal

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So today, my exams are over. But this time, fortunately, there is no aversion to studies I usually felt when I was in school. This time it is exhilarating to have done well. I finally feel like I had given my heart to work for it. To those ignorant of my subjects (this whole wide world is ignorant of it), I have English, French and Tourism. In school, I studied Physics, Chemistry, and Biology.

Maybe it is because of my and teachers’ attitude in school which made me feel like it was nothing about gaining knowledge or learning new things, or it was really there, I never felt like the studies were constructive, or the teachers were working towards teaching us something, until these six months.

“And now we will study -name of the topic- I don’t suppose I need to teach anything in this, since you all understand what it is” our physics teacher would say to us and then skip to another topic, and then say the same for it. Our biology teacher would make illegible diagrams and talk about her love life, or her in-laws, or rumors in school. Our chemistry teacher was the best of all, since she really did teach. But she would teach everything so fast, as if she had a train to catch and the last thing she wanted to do was teach. Believe it or not, she had once finished a chapter of 12 pages in two periods of thirty five minutes each. All of them presumed that their students must go to some money-sucking coaching institute, they would spend their time consumed by books and hard-headed numerical problems. What they did not realize, or failed to notice, or refused to take into account was that there were some people who needed encouragement- just a little bit of it. Actually, they would sneer and snicker and speak ill of those who did not have a thought other than that of going for being a doctor, engineer, or a chartered accountant. The rest were nothing but piles of garbage.  Thankfully, we had an amazing English teacher. She was so animated and spirited even at the age of fifty six, that she would pull a student into what she was teaching. Where there was no respect for the other teachers, I loved our English teacher, and I still do. The same is the case with others.

Being in the college I am right now, I had made projects, on my own (the project we were supposed to submit for physics’ finals, our teacher had told us not to waste time and just buy one from the market), really understanding what the whole topic was about. In my papers, I wrote exactly what I understood and got marks for it (in my optional subject psychology, it was compulsory to cram the notes our teacher had provided to us, or she would look at us disgustedly and mercilessly cut our marks). Some might say that I am exaggerating too much, but that is exactly how I see it. I know what they have killed in me. I know who the culprits are for a beaten spirit.

And though it might seem that this is a vengeful spirit of an angry lady (which it might as well be), it breaks my heart to think of the thousands “nurtured” in such an environment which disapproved of so much, killed curiosity, creativity and originality of so many. I have known at least one in ten not wanting to go to school, because of the fear of bullies, rigid and unthinking teachers. Imagine a child in class one refusing to go to school and begging his parents not to send him. I have seen children like that in school.

On farewell day, I was sad that my friends would now be distant and that we would be sailing into unchartered waters (for us), but I was relieved and ecstatic that I would finally be leaving this jail of a school.

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cannesubhadra

Perception, awareness, comprehension, apprehension, sharpness and a flair is important to gain insights. It is my journey towards that. :)

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