It is funny how your concepts and beliefs clash with what the society expects of you, and you in turn expect the world to go two different ways. Recently, I was at crossroads, waiting for the traffic to move, when I saw a lady police officer directing the traffic and a fat male officer lounging in a chair nearby at the booth. I was outraged as I thought, “what a shameless guy, making a lady work on roads when he can do the work himself”. But at the same time I was reminded of how I keep talking about providing equality to both the genders.
When you see a woman walking somewhere lugging the luggage while her man walks ahead of her like he has no care in the world and every right in the world to walk like that, you feel nothing but outrage because you expect the man to carry the bags. It is of course a chivalrous act to do so. But when one talks of being as same as the opposite sex, is it right to expect men to be the gallant ones? Is it right to ask them to pay for your bills or repair your cars or carry your bags? The question causes serious dilemma in one’s mind because it clashes with their beliefs.
When we talk of a human’s physique, it is quite obvious that women have a slender frame, softer skin and a womb. They were, like every other female animal, built for birthing. But, a woman holds the same mind a man does. And the thoughts formulated go different ways just as a man’s do. They understand the difference between right and wrong, they decide to trust people, they are inquisitive, they are creative and they are strong and independent. But there always remains a need of feeling loved and cherished. There remains a yearning to be respected for who they are, and what their thoughts are just like men would like to be understood.
So when people throw their hands in the air in exasperation blabbing on and on about how women cannot be feminists and still demand chivalry from men, they must understand and realize that although she demanded the right to vote and the right to earn as much as a man does in a society, there shall always remain a need in her to be loved and cherished and there shall always remain a need in him to love and cherish.
Men when you give your opinion on the shoes your girlfriend or wife is planning to buy, you must realize that if you think of that as your right, you should also consider it your duty to carry that box of gaudy pair of shoes you made her buy. You must not leave her at the station platform with the heavy bag which holds your clothes and certainly not at the vegetable market full of vegetables you are going to gulp down. You must be considerate enough to offer your help and insist on doing it because a woman makes many many sacrifices to make your life comfortable. You must pay for the date the first couple of times if you have asked her out because you want to be with her, not the opposite. And you certainly must step up and defend the honor of your wife or girlfriend or date when she is harassed even if she dragged you into the bar because that is what men are to do. They are supposed to love, cherish and protect BUT only when needed. And when I say that they need to do all the previously mentioned things, I do not expect you to interpret their meaning as handicap her by taking all the decisions by yourself or disregard her thoughts because a woman is supposed to sit quietly and adore her partner. Although the crappy romantic novels romanticize Neanderthalism it is nothing but portraying women and men in stereotyped roles which will do no good in the twenty first century.